Dan Sebenarnya.

I was blinded with love when I fall.
I fell deep. I fell hard.

Don't ask me what. Don't ask me why.
I don't know what I think.
I don't know what I see.

However I believe, everything I had was real.

There's just no point in asking me why?
I guess all I felt, was deeper than one could reach.

I don't regret. I just feel loss.



"she turns the lights on to blind the pain"
- Beautiful Lies by Juwita Suwito.

Sedih

sedih melihat karenah dunia.
membanding-banding, mengapi-api.
jadi tunggang terbalik melawan fitrah yg satu.
yang benar, di olah hingga nampak lesu.
mengelirukan makhluk seperti aku.

stuck in the middle,
not knowing what to do.

Tunggu dan Lihat.

Itu bukan hanya sekadar hobi.
Itu bukan sekadar mengikut trend.

It's my passion.

Diam dan hilang bukan kerana tidak berminat.
Bukan tidak sayang.
I love what I did.

Aku cuma hilang inspirasi.
The only one thing that matter.

I'll make a comeback, and strike your heart with the capture.
If it's not working, maybe I'll just have to try harder.

Sekejap Sahaja.

She's ready to fly...

My only adik yang itu, berangkat today. Will not be seeing her, for three freaking months!
And this time, dah tak boleh stalk sama itu budak. No blog update, no myspace comments, no friendfinder! *gulp*

This time, she's really on her own.

I really am the one who had problems with letting go. Sedihnya. Tadi, hanya dengan panggilan telefon pun boleh menangis-nangis. Itu saya. Dia? Rileks saja. That's when I know she'll be okay. She's tougher than she looks! Dia bukan lagi budak bulat yang boleh saya ketuk-ketuk macam dulu. Hihi!

Bye-bye Nuyue.
You'll be fine and you'll have fun.

And you too, will fly high,
definitely.

Secret(s) of the Week #2

Tak nak balik, boleh?

Time flies fast. And there goes my one week mid semester break.
Life's been good this past week..

Almost everyday tidur awal, bangun juga awal. Heaven!

Dalam sibuk-sibuk orang sekeliling pergi mengundi, kami sekeluarga sempat lagi makan tengah hari at our favorite Tandoori restaurant, Pakeeza. This time was different, sebab kali ini, it was Nuyu who treats us! Kenangan gaji terakhir lol. *Sedap dan kenyang, sangat!*

Plus, tercapai juga hajat kali ni. Saya yang tiba-tiba semangat-semangat. Mengidam nak cook and bake. Selalunya hangat-hangat tahi ayam saja. Kemalasan berjaya saya tolak, and the results are, the ever yummylicious Fettucini Carbonara for Sunday's lunch, and Chocolate Chip Cookies for gumok-gumok munch-munch. Hoho. Next mission, cupcakes!

Obviously it's not everyday saya rajin. It is a holiday! And that's what I did - bermalas-malasan dan berehat-rehat. Menarik, ohkay!! This time cuti with less online. The rest of the time, saya habiskan dengan membaca novel dan bermain game. ;p Senang-lenang betul kan? hihi.

And of course, meeting the girls was the highlight of the week.

Movie outing with Diana & Ily.

Out to look for present with Melly.
Ended up with her shopping gila macam gila best! Jealousnya!

Hanging out with the best gossip mates in town; Mai, Liy, Aimi.

And now rasa, cuti seminggu mana cukup!!
Longer please...

Tak nak balik kampus, boleh?

Buyut turns eighteen.

Nuyu, adik gemok ku turns 18 today.

With SPM result announcement last Wednesday,
plus her departure to PLKN next Tuesday,
I bet there's a lot on her mind these few days.

So buyut,
no matter what your result is, or
what university u're going to and what course you're taking, or
the fact that our camera is always full of your camwhoring pictures everytime we lent it to you, or how fat/hitam/kurus/cun you are and you'll be *grins*,

We're proud of you, and we accept you as you are.

Turning eighteen, definitely is a life turn over for you.
Whatever in past is done, and the future is about to take over.
Make a full use of every seconds you have.
We hope nothing but success & happiness for you in your hands.

You're no longer a kid,
and you make it clear that now you can take care of yourself.
That's the fact that gonna take some time for us to swallow.
Your parents and sisters can't always take care of you,
but we surely gonna be there whenever you need us.
And you always gonna be the little girl in our heart.


So Nuyu,
Happy 18th Birthday!!!


p/s: We're surely gonna miss you even more for the next three months. And you're sooooo gonna miss our camera, and computer. hihi! :P

The Diary of a FAT Shopaholic.

It was the time of the year.

Jalan sana jalan sini. Masuk kedai sana-sini.

(Read in an excited tone.)
"Gila banyak sales!"
"Wah, kedai ni discount sampai 70% siot."
"Eh, kedai yang tu macam menarik je. Ushar jom"

Belek yang itu, belek yang ini.

"Ouch, this is way over budget!"
"Alaaaaa, no size."

Or worse,

"Ceh, patut la diskaun bukan main hebat. Baju season mana dia bawak keluar entah. Gila buruk. Gila out-of-date."

Sometimes, nasib sedikit baik.

(Read in an excited tone.)
"Whoa! Baju ni gila comel/ayu/decent! OMG, discount 40% kot! Murah, murah! Nak try!!"

Then the real nightmare begins in the fitting room...

"Alaaaaa, baju tak muat/ ketat sangat/ kenapa labuh sangat!!"

or, ayat lebih tragis,

"S**t. Nampak gila gemok!"

Frust. *sob*
Dengan hampa, put away the dress;
lantas meninggalkan kedai, teruskan mencari sasaran lain.

Tapi, memang tak jumpa apa-apa.
Alasan? Read above.
*Big Sigh*



Conclusion: Orang gemuk susah nak cari baju, unless you got lots of $$$.
Mission: No more buying clothes until berat turun not less than 5kg.


(Kisah ini adalah kisah benar. Nama mangsa adalah dirahsiakan.)

Despite All That.

Double terharu.

Remember my last decision? Yang ini.

Aku terkejut sbb tak sangka ada juga yang menjenguk. Yang selalunya diam-diam sahaja tanpa salam, turut tinggalkan tanda. Tindakan aku meninggalkan khabar terakhir hanya niat nak poyo-poyo je sebenarnya. Hehe! Feedback melampau pula aku terima.

Tiba-tiba aku jadi malu. Hihi! Mana tak nya, segala lagu yang hati aku nyanyi, rupanya juga di ketahui orang- and mostly bukanlah among my close friends & family. Almaklumlah, bila tiba mood aku jiwang, boleh tahan berbunga jugak ayat aku. Ehem ehem!

Nak kata puitis tiadalah sangat. Ayat-ayat pusing dan lintang-pukang banyaklah. Ha! Ha!

Untuk umumkan ruang baru ini, aku wujud lagi segan. Nanti-nantilah. Jika jodoh kami panjang, sampai juga mereka ke sini. Invited or uninvited, they are always welcome. :)

---

Malam ini, hati aku tersipu-sipu, tersengih-sengih menatap satu web site. Bak kata Bzr, "especially to those who in need of 'motivation'". Feel free to browse DespairDotCom ;p

My favourite -

"When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteor hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteorite."

Ketawa-lah! Aku dari mahu down, terus tak jadi.

Aku Ingin.

Aku ingin jadi bintang...



Biarpun kerdil, tidak sebesar dan secantik bulan
namun bintang punya ceritanya yang tersendiri.


Jika tidak kerana bintang
masihkah ada insan yang sudi menatap pekatnya warna malam?


Jika tidak kerana kerdipannya yang berkilau cantik
mungkinkah ada yang mngira butir-butirnya yang halus gemerlap?


Jika tidak ditemani bintang
mahukah bulan muncul bersendirian di dada langit?

Aku ingin jadi bintang...
kerana ceritera bintang lebih banyak berbanding bulan nan satu...

Quote from Persis Sebutir Pasir - ManjLara.

Secret(s) of the Week #1

A New Beginning of an End.

After berpusing-pusing kepala berfikir, saya decided to stop updating the other blog. So, full attention dapat ditumpukan pada yang ini sahaja. Yeay! Tak payah fikir 68 kali sebelum post anything which might offended anyone. Tak ada lah saya kena tulis pusing-pusing dan pecah otak cari ayat bermaksud dalam sangat.

I'm not planning to keep this blog access as private either. I don't mind people reading it, tapi jangan harap la saya nak buat ayat-ayat jaga hati dalam ni. So, sama ada they live with it, or they just have to leave.

Eh, jangan pulak salah faham. Bukan meaning saya akan hentam siapa-siapa pun. But considering the fact yang saya nak kurangkan bercakap selepas ni, I may need a new subject to communicate later.

This will be my new medium to berceritera, membebel, merepek, and sing of course! Not forgetting, dialog bersama hati.

More pictures, musics and maybe videos to be shared. Mungkin lah.

Niat hati, teringin juga mengasah bakat menulis kembali. Something out of the box sikit. Jiwang-jiwang je memanjang, bosan la kan?


Well, we'll just have to wait and see :)

Itu Aku.

When is the right time to stop?
Who knows!?

When will the right moment come?
Now, I hope!

I bet you knew nothing about my life.
Yes, you dont.
Me neither.

The road of life is never gonna be that straight, oh dear.
Same goes for my words.
Berpusing-pusing, kelam-kelabut, dan bisa jadikan kepala kamu berpinar.

You'll get a feeling that you're lost.
but, in the end, everyone found their way back home...
(Wherever their home at, that is.)
Hopefully.

Confused??

Well, you don't have to understand any of this.
Honestly, it really is nothing!
Pardon me.

Tika detik-detik lalu laju tiada henti,
and yet, aku masih di situ,
seperti dulu.

My wish, please let all this waiting be worth while.
cause,
Itu maybe Aku.